Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Paul's Birthday, December 5

Paul's grand daughter Tara Kately,asked me to post her tribute on the anniversary of his birthday.

Our “Chief”

Everyone has those embarrassing moments in life that they wish they could forget; yet for some reason we tend to remember every meticulous detail. For me, it was not just one particular moment as much as it was a reoccurring one every December during my days as a student at Carteret High School. In high school, I was proud to be a clarinet player in our Wind Ensemble. Although I always enjoyed playing the clarinet, the stigma of being in the band was not always the greatest. Of course the fact that our uniforms were equipped with long black skirts, tuxedos shirts, and blue bow ties did not help the reputation either.

Nevertheless, I stuck with the clarinet and, every December, Carteret Wind Ensemble put on a Holiday Show in the high school auditorium. As one can imagine, the holiday concert did not exactly draw as large of a crowd as a Rambler football game did on a Friday night. However, there was sure to be one very special guest in attendance for eight years straight while my sister and I were a part of the show. My grandfather, or as we would say, “Pop-Pop”, would drive up to Carteret from Freehold one hour in advance to ensure he had the best seat in the house. His selection of a seat was very important because he needed to be sure the lighting and angle was just right so that he could not only record every song and solo, but also have the most direct view of my seat.

 At the end of each show, Pop always insisted on taking family photographs while outside the auditorium. Each painstakingly slow process of the photograph would make my palms sweat in embarrassment as I watched all of my friends walk by and stare at me in my blue bow tie. I would urge and plea saying, “Pop please! No more!” and his reply was always, “Ok just one more!” At the age of sixteen, I just could not understand why he felt the need to subject me to that awful humiliation.

Now, ten years later and a teacher at Carteret High School, there is no longer a holiday concert to attend. The number of band members has dwindled to a few dozen, and even the crowds at the sporting events have dropped significantly. My repressed feelings of embarrassment have suddenly become feelings of sadness for my students. I have come to realize that my Pop-Pop was so rare. 

He never missed any of my concerts, or my sister’s high school plays, or my brother’s baseball games. He proudly boasted of all of his grandchildren’s accomplishments whether it was water polo matches, hikes across the countryside of Spain, or even a good day at school for my little cousin Megan. Every photograph, email, or video he took was shared with anyone who would watch. He transformed what might have seemed like a small insignificant moment to us - into something that we could be proud of forever. I have learned from him the importance of supporting the ones you love and I know one day when I have my own family I will be at every bake sale, basketball game, and holiday concert I possibly can be. I only wish my students now could experience even half of the support we had from our Pop-Pop.

I recognize now how lucky my cousins and I were to have such an amazing grandfather. He was, and always will be our biggest fan. It has only been a few weeks now without him, and I miss him terribly. I miss his weekly e-mail updates, his videos of his animal friends from Indiana, and even his political commentary. As heartbroken as I am that Pop-Pop will not be sitting at the end of the table this year at Christmas dinner, or at my brother’s wedding next Fall - I know he will be there in spirit, one hour in advance to make sure he gets all of the best shots. I promise we won’t be complaining Pop, take as many as you want.